Darkness

I welcome it.
I want to fade into it
and disappear.

It is heavy and nothing,
all at the same time.

It is not the emptiness
that fills me with despair;
it is what’s left—
nothing,
and a great weight
all at once.

I want to punish myself.
I did this.
I let it happen.

I became the villain—
the monster
in my own story,
just as I knew I would.

Made to do things
one would never have done.

Without the sun
flowers cannot grow.
They slowly wilt
and die.
They disappear.

I welcome the darkness.
Let me disappear...